Wednesday, October 29, 2008

these days, I've become more and more obsessed with the idea of dying.
I wonder. what would it be like, if I died young?
would people come to my funeral? would they remember me at school, at church?
would they still think of me from time to time?
do I make a difference in this world?
it makes me wonder.
and then I wonder, would I want to die slow?
be diagnosed with a fatal disease and live knowing my days are numbered,
but to be able to talk to all my friends,
to be able to tell them everything I've wanted to say without fear of consequences
or would I want to die sudden?
to not fear my impending death, but to go out in a flash of glory
not to be remembered as that sickly invalid but as someone active, loud, fun, spontaneous.
I don't know. it's a troubling question.
but I'm not afraid to die.
I'm just afraid I'll die before I've told everyone what they need to hear.
one of these days, I think I'll make a blog dedicated to those that matter most in my life.
and write posts just for specific people, just to tell them what I think they need to hear from me,
and my words to them.
something for them to remember me by. actually, I think I'll do that soon.
that's a good idea.
I'll link it to this blog. two blogs though: one for church, one for school.
I'll do it sometime soon. (:
because you guys matter a lot to me! and even when we grow apart,
you'll still have this to look back on and reflect.

ANYWAYS. my day was umm. alright!
crazy schedule, but whatever. inspirational assembly was heckuva crazy good.
sat with pauline and priya.
cool science experiment! fire and matches and acid and poot! ing sounds
in breik I listened to some of em's oldie music on her CD player
also, I got in some really good bonding time today with celine.
we walked to carm and back together.
and just talked. she's really nice, y'know. pretty too! XD
it's just nice to have one on one time with people every once in a while.
I got some nice conversations with katti too, after we came back.
she's cool. and yeah. I need to do my work. bye!
haha me and alice had this discussion.

Labels: alicelee, celinephong, kattihorng, paulineyang, priyashah, tylerdurham